Mistrusting a peer’s diagnosis points out how I see that person. Distrusting that other person will let me go through the intersection first explains my insisting on their going first.

Choosing to not trust in how I act on things means that I see only utility in my choices. Learning to go with what seems right while holding those decisions up before God is the right way to handle myself. Striving to positively repent of any certainty in my choices doesn’t shackle me to doing nothing in fear. Expecting God to sit on the floor and show me other ways to play with my things is what I want by choosing to not trust in me.

Mistrusting and distrusting the other demands that I come to some other conclusion. As a repentant utilitarian all I’m playing out is a certainty of being too thick headed to get the full point. My repentance is then actively refusing to do nothing till God shows me the right way. Utility in my prayer life is the same as a child’s play being their parents’ opportunities to teach.


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General, hesychastic, Mysticism, Prayer

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