I wish to share with you my love of my son. That is now painful since he took his life this week. My love, though, takes the bitter edge from the loss. I give my wish to see him again no ground in which to take root. Such thoughts will float through but I will not moor them.
Blaming him for my pain, today, is more than useless. My pain is mine and mine alone and I do not grieve over my pain. To cry, to miss him and hurt over this encourages new freedom to take root. I seek freedom in remembering my boy in spite of his choice.
I accept the need to love and not be in control. I know well the need to deal with such. Through such I learned to know peace. Peace does not need ease, nor comfort to be present. Willingness to face into stress makes peace no easier, it makes it possible. Out of choice, whether it works as I wanted or not I have learned to accept peace
I choose to see my son in the midst of his choices and love him. I choose to be at peace with him, now.