Today will be a little longer than desired, but then, still a great deal shorter than last Friday. Last evening lasted longer than I had hoped, requiring a half tab of clonazepam to finally put me to sleep. And then, just as I was tripping over the edge of wakefulness and falling on into sleep, my daughter texted me. She was, apologetically, asking whether she and Mark should be bringing food back out to the ranch, to which I said, ‘No’. My little girl can’t seem to get my ire up, and so, all I remember was laying the iPhone back down before awakening, a little early, this morning.
A cacophony of thoughts and music awakened me. Much of it had to do with this next stage of mom’s life, now that dad is about to be laid to rest. The rest of it had everything to do with the songs I know we’ll be singing and listening to in that little Baptist church I was raised in.
Not, at all, surprising, I’m sensing a host of wry feelings about having my brother and sister out here. Our needing to spend today and tomorrow putting our father to rest has stirred up a lot of things. Most of what is scurrying around the house are wonderful. Yet, as a great many of us know, there are family issues that just have to, occasionally, spoil the moment.
All of what awakened me this morning has little to do with what matters. It has everything to do with the moment and the moment only. So, I’m comfortably ready to risk scuffing my knee as we occasionally trip each other up in the stress of laying this man to rest.