Our struggles to keep things right is, in part, a distraction. A distraction from the unfinished nature of our understandings, our activities and our plans. This problem is not exclusively, nor even partially, part of any political group. All efforts to identify the wrongs of another person, cluster of people, political group or party and right on out to nations distract us from our own wrongs.
“It would, however, be equally fantastical to imagine that embryo editing would have no effect on our capacity to remember the obligation to accept children as they are. Psychical energy is finite; the more time we invest in shaping children, the less we invest in accepting them as they are.” ~ Erik Parens
Confusion is that marvelous weapon of distraction. Every attempt I made at pointing out any family member’s part in the conflict was turned against me, as a, “How dare you try to protect the mean person in our family.” Wives, husbands and children all defended themselves from seeing their part in why they were in therapy. Their own part in the conflict had little, if not nothing, to do with what must change.
I never saw a client who, wholeheartedly, took hold of their part in the family’s struggles. There seems to be a natural tendency toward not seeing ourselves as much a part of the problem as the solution. As I read, Erik Parens’, “Made to order“, I caught myself wondering, why we make more of how on the mark our own view of things is rather than being a friend?